This is a copy of a letter I wrote and sent to Baby R's Social Worker. Sadly, I have NEVER received a response from her or her supervisor about it. FUNNY how VERY important it was for a lot of these things to be done by ME, and yet they NEVER allowed me to do them! Of course we have the transcripts from court on October 15 & 16, 2008 to back me up.
On 11-13-08 I did ask D. Ward while at the courthouse about some of these things. While J. Cain, her supervisor and Melissa T. were present and guess what I heard.
"We are not willing to have the family show Baby R the photos or play the cassettes, etc. until WE KNOW that he will be placed with you". About the phone calls, Julie Cain said, "Maybe we could set up times for you to call him on the days that he has visits at the department so that the foster parents don't have to deal with it." It infuriates me that I have had to watch CPS and State Adoptions act like the foster parents have MORE rights to this child even while BOTH biological parents have their rights intact. Since July 2008 the foster parents have been treated as the parents! Isn't CPS suppose to work towards family reunification and preservation?
During the same conversation, my sister Melissa asked D. Ward if the two siblings to Baby R could SHARE her visits at the department. Melissa has been asking for months and had been getting the run around, so she asked while I was present. DeDe said "no". Melissa asked to have that in writing and to this date she has NEVER received that either.
Kimberly Fraser
P.O. Box 923
Clovis, CA 92613
(559) 360-0191
October 24, 2008
Deidra Ward
Child Protective Services
880 Northcrest Drive
Crescent City, CA 95531
Re: Baby R
Dear DeDe,
I wanted to thank you again for allowing the wonderful overnight visit, I was able to have with Baby R. He was an absolute angel. It was so great to see him and spend some real quality time with him. I can't wait to get back and see him again. Next time I would like to schedule more overnights, if that is possilble.
At this time, I have found several different options for any therapy that Baby R may need. The EPU (Exceptional Parents Unlimited) has sent me quite a bit of information about their services. Baby R would receive an assessment and then they would recommend services they felt were necessary. I spoke with Sandy (PB) and she enlightened me about even more resources in Fresno. If you wanted to take a look, the phone and web site are as follows; (559) 229-2000 and www.exceptionalparents.org. The list of resources is pretty lengthy to include; workshops, play therapy, IEP (Individual Education Plan), IFSP (Individual Family Service Plan), support groups, and referrals for anything they don't already have. Fresno County is pretty large so when it comes to medical care of any kind, we usually have quite a variety to choose from. A small obstacle to finding the right provider is the question of exactly what Baby R's diagnosis is. At this time without that information I am a little blind in my search for which specialist to choose. In court Tedee Boylan and K.D. only mentioned that Baby R was fragile and that he may have attachment issues. As I approach therapists here, the biggest question that I am asked is, "What has he been diagnosed with?" As we discussed after court, I would like to orchestrate a therapy visit with Baby R. It would be great to hear from the therapist's mouth what they believe Baby R to be suffering from. Perhaps they can even recommend someone with similar credentials nearby. As I research attachment disorders, I see the very wide interpretation of therapies and symptoms. If possible, we could even get a second opinion to be sure of what exactly we are dealing with. Thinking of informed consent, I think it wise to know the entire picture and all possibilities before choosing a treatment path.
Dr. Singh was Baby R's Pediatrician, for his first nine months, and we would love to return him there to follow any treatment until he sees fit to move him. Dr. Frances was Baby R's Pediatric Cardiologist, with Valley Children's Medical Center, and again I would like to get Baby R back there for a follow up and a true comparison of his heart condition. The physical therapist Baby R had for his neck is another place I want to return to for follow up and for any future services he may need, (perhaps his hip).
I am working on a date for our next visit. My plan is to bring my family with me, I am trying to choose the best time to leave with their busy schedule. I would like to ask permission to begin phone calls to Baby R on a weekly basis. He did a great job when I had him call K.D.. He didn't speak a lot but he was listening and showed interest in the phone. If I had known earlier, I would have been calling him. My children and husband were able to speak to him that same day, each briefly, due to the amount of people on the other line. My middle daughter could be heard to Texas, she was so excited. She kept saying how CUTE he sounded, the funny things kids say. They really do love and miss him very much, he was and still is much more like a brother than a cousin.
Accidentally, I brought Baby R's dirty clothes home with me. It was just a shirt, pants, and a pair of socks (and pajamas that I had bought him), so I have washed them and am sending them back through your office. I apologize for the mistake, I think with all of the exchanging of Baby R, car seat, and the like; we forgot. I did give Baby R the cassette recorder with a tape that had me and Brynna reading some of the books I bought and gave to Baby R. Hopefully, his foster family would play that for him on a regular basis, it could help him with any visits and transition. There is also a blank tape I included for the foster family to do the same and of course, I would play it for Baby R during overnights, etc.
In summary I am asking for..........
Weekly phone calls with Baby R, at specified times if possible.
More overnights during my next visit.
The therapist's diagnosis for Baby R and treatment plan to aid in my search for a therapist here.
A session or two with the therapist, with Baby R of course.
For the foster family to play the cassette for Baby R as he looks at his books, on a regular basis.
For the foster family to record themselves reading a book, or whatever they feel comfortable with, for me to play for Baby R. (AND if they could get together a simple photo album of their family too for Baby R.) I would show that to Baby R during overnights, etc.
And that Baby R be shown the many photos that I have provided; the digital frame (photokins) and photo albums of our visits, on a regular basis.
Thanks DeDe, I realize this is a frustrating time for everyone, I just hope we can keep the lines of communication up;) I will be calling soon with a proposed date for a visit and will wait to hear from you on the phone calls to Baby R. I have the number but will not call to speak to Baby R without the foster family knowing beforehand. If we all have Baby R's best interests in mind, then we can all work to make this as easy as possible for him.
Sincerely,
Kimberly Fraser
cc: Tedee Boylan
R.C.
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