“It is a melancholy truth that even great men have their poor relations.” - Charles Dickens

I found this quote today and it reminded me of how we cannot choose our family. I have been blessed by my family in many ways.........and yet we all know that there are "some" members of our family that we WISH were not related. NO NAMES here but I do believe that we all have a black sheep in every family, OK maybe more than one.

IF anyone out there DOES NOT have one in THEIR family, please give me a call. I bet if anyone who DID believe that would be someone else's black sheep;) LOL

Being an imperfect Christian.....I choose to LOVE my family anyway. I did SAY Love NOT enable and in some cases taking them out of the equation is the best anecdote. Unfortunate, but to be a victim requires your permission.

The WORST suffering that has befallen me has come from one of OUR family's black sheep. As I can love her, I will not tolerate her behavior. I will also not become her. SHE is my cross to bare and in so trying to hurt us..........and weaken us........she has accidentally..........made us stronger.

My sister and Baby R's father were recently treated very poorly by the State Adoptions Supervisor in Arcata. I am VERY thankful that I do not live closer......as I may have shown up on their doorstep (Arcata's) and said some not so kind words;) Thankfully, I was able to support my sister emotionally on the phone as she sobbed the next morning.
She was able to sign the designated relinquishment (as was the father) on Tuesday of last week. Which they have been asking to do for MONTHS! BUT this came at a price. They were repeatedly, told WHILE signing that...........

"IF for some reason Baby R was unable to be placed with me, then they could meet and sign a NEW designated relinquishment over to the foster family." "The foster family is VERY upset that you are signing these papers today."

There is more to the conversation but you get the idea. Basically, what was said to my sister and Baby R's father was that, "The ink you are using on these papers is a waste. "We DO NOT intend, NOR have we EVER intended to place Baby R with your sister!"

I felt so sorry for my sister. She spent the evening after signing papers in bed she was so upset. I am angry that a State Adoption worker treated a HUMAN being so terribly. This was a very serious moment for both bio parents and one that they HAVE NEVER taken lightly. They are both in LOVE with their child but have a problem that involves drugs and the reality that they are not capable of properly caring for Baby R. DOES this mean that they are subhuman and have no feelings or rights? Of course not! EVEN a convicted murderer has rights and is treated with civility.
I encouraged my sister to put her complaint in writing.

I see faults in others that I CHOOSE NOT to repeat. I PRAY that I never treat someone as subhuman even if they have caused me harm.