Happy Birthday Dad!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!



It is our father's birthday today! He died March 22, 1994, that was 15 years ago. I miss him daily, I grieve for the things we lost, I grieve for the only parent that loved us 4 children unconditionally.

Sometimes life isn't fair;( It is a sad day but also a great day to remind the kids of their Grandpa Jerry. We call it Grandpa Jerry Day and because of that they all know much about a man that they have never met;) We eat his favorite foods on this day and talk about the things that were important to him.

For example we would eat: fried bologna sandwiches, BBQ chips, Pepsi, Twinkies, deviled egg sandwiches, and orange hostess cupcakes! (not all at once!)

We talk about: how much he LOVED horses, cowboy ways, country music, working on cars, his devotion to his mother (my Grandma Agnes), his desire to be a Veterinarian, stories about guns and target practice are a MUST!!! I can go on and on. (AND because of this ritual so can my children and Lisa's girls.)

I am very happy to share the warm memories with my kids. It lessens the pain that they know him from pictures. They can recite the stories to me.
I LOVE my Dad and although he had his own flaws and problems (don't we all?), he was my ONLY Dad.

Us girls talk about what it would be like if he were still here. We can go into great detail of what we would want life to be like and how very different some things would be. I do however worry that by now he may have gone to prison for trying to protect us from a certain someone. He would be besides himself if he knew the hateful and evil things she has done and continues to do to us girls, HIS daughters. BUT thankfully he is saved from her doom and we will see him again one day in Heaven. (My kids talk about that often.)

One of the most wonderful things that both made my heart smile and hurt was from my Aunt Edna. She told me a few years ago that when she died, she hopes the first person she sees would be her "Momma". (Said in the most beautiful Oklahoma accent that my ears can't get enough of.) And then she continued, "then my sister Ag"! How the tears rolled down my cheeks to see her undying love for her momma and her sister (my Grandma Agnes). I love my Great Aunt Edna;) I too want to see my Grandma!

This day also is the 3 year anniversary for Melissa's accident when she was 29 weeks pregnant with my nephew, Baby R. Two died in that accident. Thankfully, Melissa and Baby R were spared on my father's birthday. I can't help but think that my Dad had something to do with that. Vince also had a LOT to do with that. He was one of the two that did not make it out of that car alive that night. He pushed my sister Melissa (who was not in a seat belt) onto the floor board of the car. He did that out of instinct. There was no time or room for error. The choice he made saved her and my nephew who was in utero. Melissa escaped with a broken leg and arm, multiple bruises, and survivor's guilt. BUT she survived and so did that little baby! Thank you Vince!! Words cannot express our gratitude and we won't forget. I personally, will make sure that Baby R knows what you did for him. You thought of his mother and him BEFORE yourself and used the split second you had to react to save them both and not yourself. Thank you is not enough.

Now it is time to go and celebrate the life of my father with my children. Today I wrap myself in his memory and while it hurts me, there is comfort too. My Dad was a good man and he lives on through me and my children. He is not forgotten.

I love you forever. Thanks for still cutting my meat up even though I was 18 years old;) Thank you for your (warped;) sense of humor that I now share with my children. Thank you for hitting me in the arm (lovingly), I don't hit like a girl Pat tells me often! ;) I miss you and I can't wait to see you again. Tell Grandma that I am TRYING very hard to keep our entire family together, as it should be.
Love,
Clem